Popular Funny Quotes

I look at going to Hollywood as going behind enemy lines. You parachute in, set up the explosion, then fly out before it goes off.
-- Robert Redford

The execs don't care what color you are. They care about how much money you make. Hollywood is not really black or white. It's green.
-- Will Smith

It's a scientific fact. For every year a person lives in Hollywood, they lose two points of their IQ.
-- Truman Capote

I thought 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe.
-- Bob Hope

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
-- Rita Rudner

Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors.
-- Walter Winchell

I have to be careful to get out before I become the grotesque caricature of a hatchet-faced woman with big knockers.
-- Jamie Lee Curtis (on growing old in Hollywood, March 2001, More Magazine)

Hollywood's a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss, and fifty cents for your soul. I know, because I turned down the first offer often enough and held out for the fifty cents.
-- Marilyn Monroe

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood.
-- Groucho Marx

Half the people in Hollywood are dying to be discovered and the other half are afraid they will be.
-- Lionel Barrymore

Funny Quotes

If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much -- just an occasional sun visor.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

I married your mother because I wanted children. Imagine my disappointment when you arrived.

Funny Pictures

Albert Einstein Quotes

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all art and science.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.

Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Example isn't another way to teach, it is the only way to teach.

Human beings, vegetables, or comic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible player.

Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -how passionately I hate them!

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.